Our New French Life
Jan 25 2019
So when we were in France over the New Years holiday, we visited a couple of schools for our 7 and 9 year old kids. One was the tiny, walking distance away village school, total student enrollment 75 kids. The other one was an amazing, top ranked international K-12 school with 4000 students a 30 minute drive/60 minute bus ride away. The international school looks amazing and is definitely where I would love our children to go to high school and likely middle school. But upon our arrival, and for their elementary school years, we opted for the local village school.
I got the impression that a couple of Anglophone students is quite out of the norm for this small village school. We met with the Director and got a tour of the school in early January. The kids felt stared at by all the other kids. I tried to console them, saying it is a tiny village school where everyone knows everyone else. Not only are you new, it is an odd time of the year for new kids to visit AND perhaps the kids heard you speaking English, observed you playing a bit louder and messier than they are used to and/or noted your (and our clothing) is not at all French.
I didn’t have the heart to tell my young children that this was only the start, the tip of the iceberg. That until they perfect their French (I give them six months max upon our arrival), they will continue to be an oddity, an anomaly, different from the norm. And that isn’t always a bad thing.
This week I exchanged emails with the School Director and City Hall to complete the children’s school enrollment paperwork. It seemed way too easy. We are contemplating a trip back for a week over the kids Spring Break in March to get done all the things we ran out of time to do in January due to our delayed closing date.
Limbo. And now we wait. (Wouldn’t you know it, the Daddy Yankee song Limbo just came on my radio station. Coincidence, I think not!! I’ve never been very patient or otherwise good at waiting. Last week I had two interviews for a job transfer and this week I had an informational meeting about another opportunity. The job from last week is already gone, they rejected me. The job would have been in French which sort of stresses me out. The early stage opportunity would be mostly in English which excited me. We won’t know if that is a real one though until the Spring. Perfect timing my husband said. Feels a bit late in our plan for my planning nature. A motto I have heard that applies here is to “fail fast”. At least the job opportunity came and went fast and now I can move on, quickly. I try to find solace and console myself in that it wasn’t meant to be. The right opportunity will come along. “Try to have faith” I say. Easier said than done.
I have taken to reading my bible and doing various YouVersion devotionals to try and process the feelings and emotions I am having. That helps, some. Talking things over with my husband or my best friend, taking walks alone to process my thoughts. Those are all helpful things I have been doing, perhaps not enough. Maybe this blog writing will also serve as an outlet for my to process all the thoughts and feelings I am going through.
Once the kids (and us) got over our jet lag this weekend, I think they are processing the emotions of what is will be like to leave our life here and start a new one in France. Our son is eager and didn’t want to leave in January. “Can’t we just stay now, Mommy?”
It feels like just two years ago (almost exactly) when we left California for greener pastures in Arizona. A few short months thereafter my job was going away so I dealt with the existential crisis of who am I, what do I want to do, what does my ideal job/lifestyle look like. I went through a lot of soul searching. And at the end, was fortunate to land a role within my same company that requires virtually no travel and all remote work from home. I am incredibly blessed and fortunate and try to remind myself of that daily. One hope was that I could continue doing the work I do today, but from a European location, perhaps work East Coast 7am-4pm hours (1pm to 10pm in France). Not ideal but a known job and this would make our landing a bit smoother (and keep my stock vesting…). For now this idea looks like it is dying a sad and painful death.
It was incredibly hard for us to close on the purchase of our house, have some furniture moved in, turn on the power, make copies of the keys and then turn around and come back to our life still waiting for us in Arizona. Now granted, observing the differences of weather between Paris and Phoenix this time of year makes it a wee bit more palatable. 🙂 But after having worked and hoped so long and hard to make the house a reality, finally achieving that reality, visualizing the lifestyle, visiting the school, the kids picking their rooms in the house, only to turn around and come home just feels anticlimactic.
Now granted we have a TON of work to do before we are ready to pack up and leave. We have cars/motorcycles/boat to sell, furniture to sell/donate, clothes and toys to get rid of, MANY boxes to to pack, affairs to get in order, friends to visit with and say goodbye to. And we will likely need all the time between now and early June. It is just hard. Hard to know it is there and our new life is waiting for us. One foot in the new life and the rest of me still in the current life. Not really motivated to meet new neighbors, parents at school or invest much at work, since it will all likely go away in four short months.
Obsession. Internet rabbit holes. Or research? Two things I starting thinking obsessing about this week were 1) professional attire while working in an office in the fashion capital of the world and 2) finding local activities for the kids (classes, sports, etc) which quickly evolved to finding a local gym (or equivalent) for me. Now on the attire topic, I have worked in Tech and/or from home for most of my career. Despite most of my meetings being virtual, I often stay in my pjs well past lunch. Even when I did go into the office it was in the Bay Area/Silicon Valley in California. Jeans and a logo t-shirt were the uniform of choice.
In the US I’ve been eyeing such services as Stitch Fix or mm.LaFleur but these don’t appear to exist in France (perhaps a business idea there). I looked into personal stylists in Paris, which although they exists are a fricking fortune! I emailed an American friend in Paris who told me not to worry, that she wishes she didn’t bring any clothing over from the US. That twice a year (Jan and July) everything goes on sale and you can find some great deals. In winter (aka half the year) she lives in boots and a lot can be done accessorizing with scarves. I used to care about how I looked, back when I was younger, single and thinner. I still have a huge inventory of scarves from when I lived and worked in Europe in my early 20s that has sat dormant for a few years (ehem decades…). I felt encouraged, excited and a bit overwhelmed at the thought of compiling a French professional wardrobe. I found some interesting exercise classes and facilities for me and of course a ton of sports, classes and activities for the kiddos. Now it all depends on what we will have more of, time or money. Perhaps both, perhaps neither. Only time will tell.
Until next time!
Shawna